“No one’s death comes to pass without making some impression, and those close to the deceased inherit part of the liberated soul and become richer in their humanness.”
- Hermann Broch
In the Philippines, November 2nd is The All Souls’ Day. Most Filipinos flock to the cemeteries to visit their departed loved ones. As I am miles away, I’m writing this as a tribute and prayer to the people who became my candles in this journey…
Uncle Victor passed away last June. Despite the hardships he and his family went through, he always put up a brave front and never fail to give cheers to those around him. He’s been sick for many years and I was hoping to let him see his family emerge from the harsh lifestyle they’re in now, but he left too soon. I was not even able to say my thanks to him and let him know that I’m proud of him.
Uncle Sonny may be very stubborn but he cares deeply for his family. His cheerful disposition made him everyone’s friend. After 6 months of suffering from brain cancer, he died May last year. I was in Manila at that time so I wasn’t able to say my farewell, too. I failed to tell him that despite my indifferent facade, I’ve always wanted to tell him I’m so blessed to have him as my uncle.
Aunt Paz was aloof at times but she’s often ready to extend her help. Her laughter would usually reach our room as we’re just a fence away. She’s also such a dedicated and hardworking homemaker. I secretly wanted to be as hardworking as her.
Aunt Paz and Lola (Grandma) Charing were very much alike. They even looked alike. She’s as hardworking and she loved all of her grandchildren. We often visited Bohol when she was still alive and I’ve treasured each of those short times we’ve spent with her.
Aunt Cris was a special person. She was mentally handicapped but what a joy it was when she could identify who we were! Lola Charing patiently took care of her and she died a few months after Lola Charing died.
Fighter Wine was Lolo (Grandpa) Tosoy’s favorite drink and he always buy one at our store. I frequented their farm when I was still a little girl. He taught me some farming stuffs, making my childhood days a lot more wonderful!
Years ago, Tatay (Grandpa) Maning always visited our home. He’s gay but he got married and had two children. He made the best cupcake in the whole world! I always looked forward to his visits because he always had interesting stories up his sleeves.
Ritchel is my older brother whom I’ve never met. He was premature, born at 7 months like me. But he was also home-incubated and lived only for a week. My mother always told me that they learned from their mistakes in incubating him. Basically, he’s the reason why I now live. I’ve always wondered how great it is to have an older brother. I’m sure he’d be a cool older brother if he’s still around.
I’ve also never met my grandfathers (my parents’ fathers). I’m sure they’re such great parents, having raised beautiful beings like my mama and papa.
I was not able to say my farewell to these wonderful souls, but I’d like to think that they’re not gone. They will always remain in my heart and I would always be forever grateful to them for making such special and remarkable imprints in my life… I miss and love you all!
I recently watched the Korean movie 
Today, I took a different route and a completely different train line. As expected, I got lost and spent a total of 30 minutes finding my way between and around stations. While trying to figure out how to get to the office, I realized that I like the feeling of being lost and it’s more gratifying to finally arrive at my destination.
