Archive for the "Sentiments" Category

Finding old friends

During my vacation last week, I often fetched Shaynna from school. To get there, I have to pass by my highschool “alma mater”. That school sure did change a lot. The single-level classrooms have been replaced with a huge multi-storey, sophisticated building. A waiting area has been added to the simple school gate. But the traffic condition is still the same. I think the number of students has ballooned. But I’ve always loved that green-colored school uniform.

Seeing that school brought me back to my highschool days. I miss my highschool friends. I have never met most of them again when we went to different universities. I tried to look for them in Friendster, Facebook, other social networking sites. But I think not everyone is as addicted to the internet as me. How I wish I could find a good free web directory that has all the information I need to find all of my childhood friends.

I stayed in Iligan City for a week. But I never came across someone from my highschool. Perhaps it is time for me to finally join the annual grand alumni homecoming?

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Should have taken up nursing

My mother grew up to be very unfortunate that she and her siblings had to be separated and work as household helpers. She was very fortunate that the couple she worked for sent her to college. When she married my father, they had a hard time making ends meet until my father got a good job in Saudi Arabia. From that time until I finished college, we enjoyed a few luxuries, thanks to my father. But things became difficult again when my father had to quit his job abroad. Then I was given the opportunity to work abroad and be able to help my family. When I received the bad news about my previous company’s situation almost five months ago, I relayed it to my family. Worried about getting a good job amid the recession, I longed for comfort from them. Even simple words like “Don’t worry. It’s gonna be OK”, would have helped a lot but all I heard was… “you should have taken up nursing. It would have been easier for you to find a job again”. I admit I was a little bit disappointed but all those difficult times my mother had to face might have given her a huge scar that made her say that.

Thank God I’ve been blessed with a good opportunity here in Singapore. Aside from that, I still enjoy being in IT. From time to time though, I wonder what if I am one of those wholesale liquidators or personal shoppers. I think I would enjoy doing them, too.

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The Quest for Stability Begins…

Enough of being depressed over the bad news. After thinking things over, I have to admit, I have become too comfortable here in Osaka that I’ve been putting off my plans of getting a more stable job. Well, I guess almost everybody does not want to leave his comfort zone. I did exert half-baked efforts but now is the time to really get serious. I am fast approaching 30 and being the family’s breadwinner, I need to join a company that would help me with social security disability insurance, unemployment insurance, and all kinds of insurances out there.  Above all, it is really great to be part of a company that would really make me feel fulfilled in this career path that I have chosen.  Oopppsss…gotta stop now. I think I’m beginning to sound like I’m in an interview.

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Romantic comedy and ice cream

Lots of shocking news has made me really stressed right now. The most appealing thing to do? Try the Hollywood Dream roller coaster ride at the Universal Studios Japan and scream at the top of my lungs. That would surely help me get rid a bit of my anxiety.  But since I don’t have the time to do that, the next thing I want to do most right now is to sit on a big comfortable chair from Berkline in front of a huge screen, watching a romantic comedy while eating potato chips and icecream!  Yes, for me, the most effective way to de-stress is to watch something funny and eat ice cream.

I want to take back my word about wanting to ride the Hollywood Dream.  Just thinking of the prospect of riding it makes me shiver.  But before I leave Japan, I should try it.  Anyway, mango ice cream, anyone?

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Another wave of shocking news

My first entry for March! I didn’t want to post something because these past few days have been wave after wave of bad news for me and my Filipino colleagues. After receiving the first bad news due to recession, I still held my hopes up. I thought that maybe, something very good will happen that will turn things around. Maybe, the company could still survive.  But everything has gone from bad to worse. And I now fear of facing the worst: going home to the Philippines sooner than I anticipated.

I do love to go home to the Philippines. But I’m not ready yet… financially.  I still have not cleared up the previous problems, and now, this.  Difficult it may seem, but every option now laid before me is a leap of faith.  I choose to believe that God has prepared something better.  I choose to believe that 2009 is the year of fulfillment.  May God bless us all!

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No Longer Immune

I’m having shortness of breath and pain in the chest right now. But all these are not because of Mesothelioma. I think I did not have much exposure to asbestos throughout my lifetime that I am not at risk of contracting such disease. However, I have experienced so much heart-wrenching and nerve-wracking events in the past few years, and before I could even take a sigh of relief, another big wave is trying to topple me down.

The recent issue of recession has once again put me in a difficult position in this roller-coaster-like life. This afternoon, our manager sent us an email trying to infom us of the great but bad changes that are to come.  We had it coming but we never thought that it would still give us such a big and negative impact.  The economic slowdown has finally taken its toll in the small company where I am working.  Right now, I am still in shock.  I am now desperately searching for alternatives but could not find a viable one.  Gotta remain calm.  I guess the best first step I have to take is to pray…

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Hopeful in 2009

2008 was not a good year for me and my family. With my father’s death, last year has been filled with grief, emotional and financial struggles.  My family is still in deep pain but we want to face the new year full of hope.

So, how did I welcome 2009? Yesterday, I tried to do a general cleaning but it was impossible.  I wasn’t able to buy groceries a few days earlier and due to the sudden increase in food prices, I just opted to buy frozen food (pizza, bacon, etc.)  and a pack of oranges.  Then I rushed to meet with friends and attend a midnight mass in Kobe.  The mass started at 12 midnight and as expected, the church was only half full.  After the mass, there was a small, short, and a very quiet party in the church hall…


Then we headed back home. Here, the trains run 24 hours on January 1st, but the 30-minute interval made us wait shivering at the train station. I’m supposed to go out with some friends today to take advantage of the New Year sale in Kobe but I woke up late.  I don’t have enough finances, too!  I went out for a while but only the 24-hour supermarkets and convenient stores are open.  So once again, my first day of the year is spent in solitude.  Anyway, I choose to believe that this year is gonna be a better year for me and my family.  Despite the economic slowdown happening all over the world, I know that something good will happen this year. ;)

Happy New Year to all!  I hope and pray that this year is better for you, too.

I also pray for peace in Mindanao and in the whole world.

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Friday Quote #1

Love is the most beautiful of dreams and the worst of nightmares.

~ William Shakespeare

I couldn’t agree more with Shakespeare. Falling in love could be the most wonderful thing in a person’s life and changes the person in love. But passing through bumpy roads is inevitable. You would definitely get hurt. The person you love could be the one who loves you most but he/she could hurt you the most. If the wounds become too deep, you might, at all cost try to keep yourself from falling in love again. But love is so wonderful that when you see that someone you love might make you give love another chance. I know, it is very, very complicated. :)

Reference: Lovers Quotes

Starting today, I would be featuring quotes every Friday.  I won’t focus on romantic quotes, by the way.  So if you want to join me, please let me know what you think about the quotes I feature every Friday.  Just leave a message and I’ll drop by your place. See you!

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No Candles

This is the 4th All Soul’s Day that I’ve spent away from home, away from my hometown. Too bad I can’t visit my father’s grave. All I could do was to constantly call my mother today so it felt a little like I’m with them at the cemetery. They stayed there overnight, with three little children in tow, and from the sound of it, it was a pleasant day. Despite the painful reality that my father is no longer with us, my mother did (and is doing) well with the support of many relatives.

As for me, I was overcame with paranoia, so I didn’t light a single candle. I was so scared of setting the fire alarm off just like what happened with the occupants on the 7th floor. Now that I think about it, I could have placed the candle right below the exhaust fan! That’s how paranoid I am.

Anyway, thinking much about this day made me dream again of my father. I terribly miss you, Papa.

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He would have turned 61 today

It’s October 24. It’s United Nation’s Day. More importantly, it’s supposed to be my father’s birthday. He would have turned 61 today but he was reunited with our Creator 5 months ago. There’s so much I had wanted to tell him. But I’m pretty sure he now already knows that he is my hero as well.

My father started working in Saudi Arabia when I was only 13 years old. Every year, he stayed with us for a month, usually in the summer. So, I could no longer remember a time when we had spent his birthday together. He quit his job and went back to the Philippines about 3 years ago. By the time he’s already at home, it was my turn to leave in search for greener pastures. It was never hard to please my father. And there was one thing he’d been asking as a gift that we weren’t able to give him: a lechon for his birthday. Months after his resignation, it was the start of our family’s financial crisis. My parents’ failed business ventures left me as the sole bread winner. Despite all the difficulties we’ve been going through, I had hoped I could just fulfill that wish. It’s really heartbreaking that he wasn’t able to wait.

Today, my family’s giving him a visit at the memorial park. I still can’t believe, still can’t face the fact that he’s no longer with us. Honestly, among my siblings, I’m closest to my father. We always talked through Yahoo Messenger and I terribly miss all those conversations.

Gotta end this post or else I’d end up crying my heart out here in the office. :)

Papa Pael, we love you very much and we terribly miss you. You’ll forever remain in our hearts!

Below is the last photo of my father, together with Mama, my brother’s wife, and baby Keira.

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I won’t be home for Christmas

There are a lot of good travel deals that you can find in the internet, in the travel brochures, etc. But, it’s very rare to find a cheap one especially in the Christmas season.  During this season, it is usually the regular fare, sometimes it’s more expensive.  What with the rising fuel surcharges, even if an airline claims to give out about 1,500 pesos from Osaka (Kansai International Airport) to Manila, it would still total to more than 30,000 pesos.  So, once again, I’ll be spending this year’s Christmas here in Japan.  It’d be three Christmases away from home.  I’m just glad that it’s a working day here in Japan.  At least I would be occupied, thus avoiding homesickness.  My flatmate will be in the Philippines at that time so, this year’s gonna be gloomier… I hope not.

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Grow Old With You

One of the things a like (a little) about train rides is I get to observe other people.  In some ways, this helps me reflect on my own life.

This morning, a very old Japanese couple was on the same train.  The old lady sat beside me and her husband sat behind us.  I wanted to switch chairs with the husband so that they could sit beside each other but I held back.  I thought that it would be easier for both of them to sit along the aisle as they had a hard time moving.  At the next train stop, the husband’s seatmate got off and the husband helped the old lady up to let her sit beside him.  The old lady seemed weaker than the guy and it really touched me seeing the guy taking care of the old lady.

Indeed, falling in love means taking a great risk.  You could get hurt.  But if you find that someone who’s really meant for you, then you’re blessed to have that someone who grows old with you.

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