Bisdak Babbles

Ten years since I got out of the university, yet I still have nothing to call something my own. Being the family’s sole breadwinner is no joke at all. I always have my hands full, putting mysef last. But I know someday that I will have those things that I often look so dreamily in the internet. One of those “things” is a real-estate property. A condominium unit in a big city and a house with a huge lawn close to my hometown would be great! My parents preferred old-looking furniture, with all the flower engravings on it but I prefer to fill my dream house with comfortable and contemporary furniture. White tiles with earth-colored tapestries should go well together. Decorating her own house is every woman’s dream, I suppose.

I like to keep things even if they don’t appear to be very important. Before I left home to attend a university in Cebu, all my high school stuffs were intact. My notebooks and textbooks were all in my cabinet. Even those post-its and notes given to me by my classmates during retreats. I was told that all my stuff were put in a box when our house got renovated. I also thought that my younger cousins borrowed some of my books as references for school project. But I was wrong. All my stuff were neglected as all of my textbooks only served as homes to bookworms. If internet was as common and accessible as it is today, I would have tried to sell textbooks online. If nobody wanted to buy, I would have just posted it somewhere and give it for free. I’m just sad that most of my stuff didn’t remain useful as they were to me years ago.

I’ve always dreamt of buying a car. It’s not really just for the sake of having one or something because honestly, I still cannot afford to buy one. I want just wish for an air-conditioned vehicle for my daughter. Her school is about an hour jeepney ride from our house. On the way home, she usually falls asleep and it’s impossible to be in a comfortable position. She often gets sick, mostly cough and colds due to air pollution. With this wish in mind, I often visit car companies websites. Car sales must really be low because the Pay Light, Pay Low promo of Toyota Philippines is back. Normally, they require 30% downpayment. Now, for an innova, they only require about PHP80,000, with free LTO registration, without Chattel Mortgage Fee. You don’t have to search through car insurance companies because this amount already includes insurance! I wish I had PHP80,000 right now.

I often talk about Toyota here, I wish I could get something from them!

I do love what I’m doing right now, being in software development and stuff. But I can’t remain a programmer until I retire! Sometimes, I observe what my managers are doing, study their facial expressions, trying to decide if they are happy or not. I shouldn’t go backwards, right? They do seem to enjoy their roles but I cannot see myself in their shoes 10 years from now. I’d rather decide which wedding invitations fit a couple’s personality. Yes, for a long time since I’ve watched “The Wedding Planner”, I’ve always wanted to do and look like what Jennifer Lopez did in that movie. That movie was really inspirational. And I do agree with what she said, “for those who can’t wed, plan!”

I am after all one of the “girls”. Since I was a little girl, I used and I still do imagine how I like my wedding to be. That’s why I spend hours in the internet looking up gowns and cakes designs. I thoroughly enjoy watching travel and living channels. But I haven’t done more than that. Well, I often organize small gatherings for Filipinos in the office. Do finding a good restaurant or collecting people’s orders count? No matter how small these acts are, I honestly enjoy doing them.

I have to act right away if I want to do what I like doing most. I believe what Jack Canfield wrote in his book, “The Success Principles”, that I have to find something I love doing to succeed. But where to start? Gotta stop myself from making up excuses, too. On a side note, I don’t want to cater weddings only. I’d like to tackle every kind of event. Do you have an event coming up? I’d plan it for free, just treat me to KFC or a sushi restaurant. Nah, seriously, I gotta get down to business…

March 30, 2009. With only an 18-kg check-in luggage and a handcarry bag, I underwent a not so smooth trip to Singapore. Yes, I’ve been here for a year already! I should be glad. I’ve been planning to write a post especially for today, perhaps about Singapore. But nope. As I searched for a good Singapore photo, I chanced upon my Japan photos.   Now I could not write anything about Singapore!

Sadly the only best things that happened since I relocated here were the company I’m now working for, and when I went home to the Philippines for Shaynna’s birthday and Christmas.  Oh, I also found new good friends.

Gotta stop myself. This post is supposed to be about Singapore but all I could think about is Japan. I terribly miss Japan…

I’ve been ranting for quite sometime now how tiring it is to move out, that I don’t really like the new place, etc. But I miss my old room. Though I’m lovin’ the new one more and more

Here’s my old room just before I started packing. Notice how low the ceiling is. Above is an attic/bedroom of my other housemate.

Here’s a shot taken the night before we moved out. Quite a sad sight…

And this one taken on the day when we moved out

It’s really uncomfortable being caught up in a conversation about something I’m not familiar with. Like the time when my friends compared each other’s auto insurance quote, or the time when they talked about investments. Maybe it’s about time to educate myself on financial matter. I have always wanted to work for a financial company because I’ve heard they pay a lot higher, and yet I have nothing to put in my resume that says “fixed income”, “derivative”, etc. I should broaden my interests as soon as possible. Maybe it’s high time I should add financial-related books to my small collection of romantic and mystery novels.

My phone rang right after the alarm went off. It was my mother. She doesn’t normally call me early in the morning so I knew that she called to deliver another sad news. Nanay Soling, my mother’s aunt passed away. She was 80. I knew this was coming because she’d been sick a lot lately, but…

I had wonderful childhood memories of Nanay Soling. I used to visit her often because she had this huge “tisa” or eggfruit tree. Most of my playmates preferred eating “santol” (wild mangosteen) over tisa. Nanay also taught me a lot, mostly farm chores. Their nipa hut was my favorite place for taking naps. The snacks she cooked were delicious. Then I went to a school in the city. From then on, I didn’t visit her as often as before. I went to college in Cebu City, got a job, then went abroad.

I was home last Christmas. My mother mentioned about Nanay’s condition. I planned to pay her a visit. I wanted to, but I kept postponing it until it was my time to leave home again. I even thought of buying her a walking cane. I was wrong to assume that there will be a “next time”. Now, it pains me that I won’t be able to see her again for the last time. I won’t be able to attend the funeral.

Regret is one of life’s most cruel teacher. Yet, this was due to what I did. If we care, we have to show it now because we don’t know if we’ll be given another chance.

I’m really sorry Nanay Soling. Thank you very much for the wonderful memories you’ve imparted. I love you Nanay…