Bisdak Babbles

Didn’t have time to browse through my photos, so I present you this one:  a photo of Shaynna and her great-grandmother. She’s my grandmother, my mother’s mother, and I fondly call her “Lola* Iyang“. She helped raising me up, and now, she’s also helping raising my daughter, Shaynna.  At 71 years old and wrinkled, I think she’s still beautiful and she’s the sweetest and the best grandmother in the world!

“26 persons — 23 civilians and three soldiers — killed in fighting triggered by attacks by fighters of the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF) in Lanao del Norte province on Monday, officials said.” Inquirer.net

These killings happened just a few kilometers away from our house.  Some of those casualties may had been my acquaintances.  I called my family a while ago and they’ve evacuated the children (including Shaynna) to Iligan City.  But my mother, along with some cousins are staying at my house tonight for fear of burglars.

Dear friends, I ask for your prayers for the safety of my family, friends, neighbors, the soldiers, and everyone in Lanao del Norte.  For the families of those casualties, that they may find strength and healing.  For the deceased, that they may enter into the fullness of eternal joy, despite the injustice that they had went through.

Taken at Ma. Cristina (Pryce) Gardens, Iligan City - my father’s final resting place.

I finally went home to the Philippines a few weeks ago and got to spend some time with my now 3-year old daughter. I did my best to spend quality times with her - making a play house from paper, making paper dolls, acting as her make-up and fashion model, playing hide and seek, etc. Now that I’m back here in Japan, I realize there’s one thing I’ve wanted to do with her but didn’t have the opportunity and time to do so. And that’s playing with swing sets. There’s no playground in the neighborhood and I don’t trust myself to make her a swing set. I only managed to make a swing for her doll! I hope she’s not scared of swing sets as she was with the merry-go-round.

Getting her a swing set, a slide set and a playhouse would be very nice. But I’m sure her cousin, Choichoi, would definitely go wild with those toys around.

I have read Danielle Steel’s Kaleidoscope and from there, I’ve come across and fell in love with the names: Megan and Ariana Alexandra. I was bent on giving one of these names to my daughter. However, when the time came for me to finally use them, I end up discarding both and spent more than three months researching for a new one. Of course, I’ve considered and “shortlisted” some celebrities’ baby names. Tea Leoni’s daughter’s name “Madeleine West” was a favorite. My ex-officemates and some friends gave some suggestions and I chose “Shaynna“, I think a Hebrew word for “beautiful“. I came across “Lexine“, of English origin which means “defender of men“. The two meanings might not go well but I love the sound of Shaynna Lexine.

Since I’m the one who has an easy access to the internet, my cousin asked me to look for a boy’s name. She opted to name her son “Jarl Rhyven“. I think I got “Jarl” from a novel by Jude Deveraux. If Shaynna were a boy, I would have chosen “Jarl Tynan“.

My brother must have liked my suggestions because he asked me to name his daughter. They chose “Kiera Alexis“. It was supposed to be “Keira Alexis“, but at that time, my mother was the one who wrote it down. Being used to writing “Shiera“, she wrote down “Kiera” instead of “Keira“. Anyway, I really love researching names and I often do this to kill time. Should you need some help, just tell me and I’ll gladly burn the midnight oil for you.

(from left to right: Jarl Rhyven, Shaynna Lexine, and Kiera Alexis)

Last April, a month before my father’s death, he was hospitalized due to heart attack, the first attack. When he was still in the hospital, I promised to let him visit his hometown in Bohol after his recovery. He had always loved being with his siblings and relatives. A month later, he died in his beloved hometown. Mama, my sister, and Shaynna were with him in Bohol. From Japan, I had to go directly to Bohol.

As the taxi approached my aunt’s house, I saw Shaynna. I was torn between the fear of not being acknowledged by Shaynna and the dread of seeing my lifeless father. As I got off the taxi, I was met by my mother. At that moment, everything else flew away from my mind and all I could feel was far beyond grief. It was the deepest pain I’ve ever felt.

As I was crying my heart out, someone hugged my left leg and as I looked down, I met the eyes of someone I’ve been longing to meet again. I’ve always feared that my 3-year old daughter won’t come near me, being away from her for almost 2 years. She then stretched out her hands, urging me to pick her up, while saying “mommy”. At a young age, she seemed to understand everyone’s pain, my pain and unknowingly became my strength, my comfort.