I won’t say that I will be blogging more often from now on. You wouldn’t have noticed anyway. But, it is great to be back! We are still in the first quarter of the year, so a 2015 recap is not yet too late, I guess.
I was in an emotional turmoil, almost completely accepted that no one will ever find me. Then out of the blue, I met someone, fell head-over-heels in love, followed my heart and my instincts, and made a life-changing decision. 2015 was a roller coaster ride yet I was able to find myself again. Or should I say, someone made me find myself again. With the grace of the Lord, 2016 is and will be a year to treasure.
1st and 2nd Quarter : Lost
I don’t want to write about the first half of 2015, nor do I want to remember it. I was hurting a lot. I was so broken. I was very lost. I loathed myself.
I would rather pretend that the first half of 2015 didn’t happen. But it taught me a lot.
3rd Quarter : Getting back on my feet
I heard my self screaming. I needed to heal before I reach the point of no return. It had already been a year of depression but it was never an excuse to self-destruct. Self-destruction was the easiest way out, yet the most desolate path. I decided that I must find myself again while I still had time. Then I got introduced into Brazilian Jiujiutsu (BJJ). It was a slow healing process, but BJJ played a big role in making me like myself again. I started wearing real smile again. On the other hand, I was losing hope that someone would ever find me.
4th Quarter : Loving and being healed
With a small glimmer of faith, I posted a shout-out in my Twitter account. It was a link of a song for someone I have been waiting for. A few hours later, I received a LinkedIn connection request. Yeah, I didn’t know that LinkedIn is for those who are trying to find love as well. Pardon me for that cheesy line. Anyway, he didn’t know about my shoutout as he cannot access Twitter. I do know one thing – I am so glad I accepted the request! Even during our first casual chats, I never received one-liners. When I shared a photo or two, I got back a dozen. When I shared a cover, I got back a couple of his.
In all those barrage of message exchanges, I repeatedly told myself, “Here is a guy who knows how to care. Someone who might truly appreciate me for who I am. Someone who will most likely never ignore me nor take me for granted. Someone whom I have been waiting for… I pray Lord, please make him be The One.”
We must have passed by each other in our university days but we had never really met. Yet somehow, I felt so sure. I felt so at peace. I find myself smiling a lot. I am finally home…